Life After Death
by Gilana1
Summary: After Ginny's death, Harry struggles to keep going, but after a passionate night with someone who he considered he enemy he decides that maybe there's more to life than he thought, and embarks on a passionate and hurtful ride over the course of many years
1. Even Through Death

**Chapter 1 – Even Through Death…**

Harry Potter stared at the grave, and the headstone at the head of it. His green eyes were blank and devoid of any emotion. How could it have come to this? How could it, after everything that had happened, have come to _this_? He had hoped so much that this day would never come. He had hoped that after he defeated Voldemort that she'd be there, that they could just pick up where they left off, but no, here he was, at the end of it all, staring at a grave instead of a pretty face – a face which he saw now only his memories and what few pictures he had left of her. The pictures were better than his memories in some ways, but it still wasn't the same. He would never hold her, never see her… Never feel her sweet lips upon his skin, or the intoxicating smell of her hair as his face was buried in her neck.

Molly Weasley was not far behind him, but her husband Arthur was trying to lead her back into the house. Fleur had her arms around Bill and was leading him back as well. Ron was slowly making his way to the Burrow with Hermione, holding each other for comfort and Charlie was not far behind them. The second eldest of the Weasley's had come down for the funeral too. They had all been there for quite some time after the service had ended and it hadn't only been for one. It had been, unfortunately, a funeral for two and the two graves in front of him were not the only people who had died that day. No, Harry felt each loss keenly, but there was one that he felt deeper than any other, as he looked at the two graves in front of him:

Ginevra Molly Weasley  
August 11, 1981 – May 20, 1998  
"Our love for you will keep you alive in our hearts."  
Lovely daughter, brave woman, and fierce lover.  
You will be sorely missed.

Fred Gideon Weasley  
April 1, 1977 – May 20, 1998  
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Mischief never managed."  
Wonderful son, great trickster, good man and brilliant twin.  
You will be sorely missed.

A lone tear escaped from his eye, falling down Harry's cheek, and the man made no attempt to stop it. They were going to put the same "Our love for you…" quote on both graves, but George wouldn't have it and insisted that it be changed for Fred's. The living twin was currently still there, kneeling next to Harry in front of his dead twin's grave. Harry couldn't see him for he could not take his eyes off Ginny's, but he knew what George's face would look like – devoid of emotion, as if he was dead inside. The dark-haired man didn't know if George was crying or not, but that didn't matter. He could feel the sadness coming from him and didn't think that George would ever laugh again, at least not as freely as he once did. Yes, Harry had loved Ginny, he admitted that, but to lose a twin, and you rarely saw Fred without George… He did not envy him. He was sure that the redhead would never feel whole again.

He wasn't sure how long he and George stayed there, but he knew it was long after the sun had gone down. Two people came out and got them, leading them into the house and to their rooms. Harry's sleep was uneasy that night, plagued with dreams of Ginny, dreams that were not always pleasant. The young man lay awake, wondering how it was possible to live without her. When he had seen her struck down by Bellatrix Lestrange, it had taken every ounce of restraint in his body not to scream out and kill her, but Molly in her grief, had seen to do what he could not. She had furiously screamed, striking down the horrible woman that had killed her one and only daughter. For Harry, that had been it – the last straw. He and Ginny were supposed to survive this, so that Harry could tell her all the things he'd never got a chance to, but Bellatrix had seen to destroy that. She had not only taken away his godfather, but the girl he loved.

Defeating Voldemort had been a bittersweet victory for him. There was no joy in his heart. Yes, Voldemort was dead and would never cause death or destruction ever again, but he had caused enough in the time he had to last many lifetimes, whether directly or indirectly – his parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Tonks, Fred, Ginny, not to mention countless others that he knew or had known, and others he didn't know. How many families had been torn apart by this war Voldemort had caused? How many parents mourned their children, like Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were now? How many siblings cried at the grave of the brother or sister they would never see again, like George and his brothers? How many lovers had to gaze at their lovers' grave, never again seeing the one they love, like Harry was now? How many children would grow up never knowing their parents, like Harry?

So much death, destruction, tragedy, and loss… Yes, it was over, but that didn't take away the terrible things that had already happened. As he lay there in bed, he only wanted it to be over. Ginny would want him to live though – and that thought hurt. She would want him to be happy, though how he was going to be happy he didn't know. She and Fred, too, would both want them all to have long, happy lives. They wouldn't want them mourning. Fred would probably prefer that his death be celebrated, but he knew not one person in the house could laugh right now.

The next day, Harry didn't move except to go down to eat. George was a zombie as well and no one could smile. Too much had happened. Now that Voldemort was dead, it left all of them plenty of time to think about what they'd lost and that wasn't pretty. However, later on that day, he heard some commotion going on downstairs. The dark-haired man made no attempt to move from his current position from the bed he shared in Ron's room. He heard different people going up and down the stairs, but he didn't want to be interrupted. Not too much later though, there was a knock on the door that interrupted him anyway. "Yeah," he said his voice devoid of emotion, letting whomever it was know that they could come in.

A bushy haired girl stuck her face inside the door. "Hey, Harry," she said, but to her credit, she didn't ask how he was. That would be a stupid question, and Hermione that was one thing she was not. "I just thought you'd like to know that Andromeda Tonks is here. She's brought Teddy with her, you know..." She paused for a moment. "If you want to come down, just for a little bit, I'm sure she'd appreciate it." Hermione stayed for a moment longer, but seeing that Harry wasn't going to move, just left and he heard her footsteps going back down the stairs.

After a moment, he decided that he would be polite and go down there, if only for a moment to make his presence known. When he got there, everyone was in the living room, save for George, who was probably still in his room, and Bill and Fleur, who had probably gone home. Teddy was sitting in Andromeda's lap, her arms around him. The moment Harry walked in, every eye turned towards him. The attention made him want to leave, and he was struck by how much Andromeda looked like her sister, Bellatrix. He didn't leave though, leaning up against the wall, content as he could be to stay there for a few minutes and then he would go. He did not feel like company right now.

"Good to see you, Harry," Andromeda told him. "I was hoping I could get to see you today." She bounced the little boy on her knees, keeping him content for the time being. "As I was telling everyone, I am going to take care of Teddy until Remus is better."

Remus had been injured badly in the last attack and was currently in a coma. They all knew he might not wake up, but none of them said it. Snape had also been injured but Harry didn't know the severity of his injuries and didn't really care. Andromeda's voice choked a bit as she spoke, but she regained her composure, though Harry was sure that everyone could see the tears that were coming to her eyes. She had lost her husband and her daughter in the past few months.

"I am his grandmother," she said, "but as I understand it, Dora and Remus made you his godfather, Harry. I would love it if you came by often to see him and watched him sometimes if I needed a break. Young children can wear you out, and I'm not as young as I used to be." She looked at him for a moment before continuing. "I would not burden a man of your age with a child and with everything you've gone through. I am his grandmother, and I don't mind taking care of him at all, but if you visited, I would appreciate it."

That's right; Harry was his godfather. His green eyes fixed on the boy, who would never know his mother and perhaps his father as well, like Harry. Unlike Harry, though, his godfather was around… The young man nodded. "No problem, Mrs. Tonks," he told her. "I'd love to."

A small smile flitted across her face, breaking through the sadness that he could see. "Wonderful," she said, turning back to Mrs. Weasley. "As I was saying, I've been trying to keep my spirits up, but it's so hard." A tear went down her face. "I've told myself everyday since Ted died and more so since Dora died, too, that life goes on." She held her head up high. "Ted lives on in me, as does Dora. They also both live on in little Teddy here, too." She paused. "Just like Ginny and Fred live on in every one of you in this room. You-Know-Who has caused a lot of death and destruction, but life still goes on." More tears were coming down her face as she said her speech.

Harry couldn't take it, so he excused himself and went up to his room, telling Andromeda he'd probably be by tomorrow, almost running into George, who had stopped there in the hallway. It seemed as if the redhead had been on his way to the kitchen. "Oh, sorry, Harry," he said, finishing his trek. It also seemed he had overheard what Andromeda had said, but like Harry, didn't want to hear it right now.

"'s alright, George," he told him, before making his way back up to the room he was staying in. Lying down, he let his thoughts wash over him. Maybe Andromeda was right… Life did go on. Yes, Voldemort had caused a lot of death and destruction, but she was right. At this moment, he was still sad with grief over Ginny's death and the deaths of everyone else, but life still went on. Teddy Lupin was a baby, and though he would grow up never knowing his mother, Harry would make sure that his head and heart were filled with his memories of her, as he was sure Andromeda would do too – and Remus, if he woke up. Harry remembered how being alone had felt and if Teddy had one person in the world who cared about him, then Harry would keep moving on, for him, as well as Fred and everyone else who lost their lives in one of the wars against Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

Most of all, he would go on for Ginny.


	2. Life Goes On

**Chapter 2 - …Life Goes On**

Life was slow for a while at The Burrow before things began returning to normal, or as normal as they could get. Ginny and Fred's losses could be felt most keenly. Harry really had nowhere else to go, so he went between the Burrow, Andromeda Tonks' place to visit Teddy, and every now again, over to Bill and Fleur Weasley to visit them. He could have gone to Grimmauld Place, but to be perfectly honest, there were too many memories there for him. He did go by and visit Kreacher though, knowing that he would not want the house-elf to live by himself in that old house. So, he asked him to go to Hogwarts and help out there until Harry told him otherwise, explaining that there were things he wanted to be left in the past. Kreacher seemed to understand Harry and left. Before he did so, Harry promised him he would come visit him, which seemed to cheer the old house-elf up a bit. As much as Harry had disliked him when they first met, Kreacher had grown on him now.

Going from day to day, he knew that eventually he would have to get a job of some kind, because his money wouldn't hold out forever. It felt good though, just not having to do anything. Having no responsibilities, Harry just got up and did what he wanted, which granted, wasn't much. He had no real reason for living. It was as if he was travelling through life with a cloudy haze in his mind. He was only going on for Ginny after all. As time went on, Harry realized whatever he was doing, whatever this was, it was not life. It was not living. This was… surviving. "Living" required actually having something worth striving for. He didn't have that.

After a few weeks, Harry wanted to get away from the Weasleys. It wasn't as if Harry didn't like them or anything, but he wanted to be alone, something he knew they wouldn't understand. So, after some searching, Harry found a nice flat in Muggle London, where people would be less likely to recognize him and he could have some semblance of a normal life. After talking to Hermione, he found out that Gringotts did have Muggle Money that Harry could transfer his gold to, which he did, and would do every time he needed to pay a Muggle bill.

It wasn't long before he was in his own flat, filling it with anything he felt necessary, including many Muggle things that he either knew how to use or figured out how to use. It felt nice, saying that he had a place of his own, but that didn't make him happy. It gave him a slight feeling of joy before it dissipated again. It was a few months before the young man decided to go out a get a job. Of course, he applied at the Auror Department. Ron applied at the same time, and he was accepted quickly when they realized how much Ron had done. Of course, Hermione applied at the Magical Law Enforcement Department on the same day, and was quickly accepted due to her high grades and experience.

Even though they were some of the youngest in the entire Ministry, they were the experts. The three of them together at their young age had more experience even separate than most people had in their entire lifetimes. Over the next year, they excelled very fast. There was little in either job front the three of them didn't know and have experience in. Harry often found himself speaking up in the Auror Training programs, giving pointers to improve upon what they instructor was saying. Ron did the same and from what Hermione told them, she was using her intelligence and experience to her advantage. Some people didn't want to listen because of their age, but it usually didn't take much to convince them that the three young people knew what they were talking about. Ron found the looks on everyone else's faces quite amusing. Harry just didn't see the point in being told things he already knew, or knew better than whoever was supposed to be teaching them at the time.

Things were going better in the Ministry as a whole. The new Minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt, was slowly starting to clean the corruption out of the Ministry, or so he told Harry and Ron. They saw little change, but Kingsley said that change would be slow. The entire Weasley Clan, plus Hermione, was glad that Kingsley had become Minister. He was someone they all knew they could trust and even though he hadn't been Minister for very long, he was slowly changing things for the better, putting people in higher positions that would not become corrupt and taking those that would out of them. It was slowly going better, but as Kingsley said, things didn't always happen fast.

Harry still couldn't say he liked his life. It kept his time occupied, for which he was grateful and there were brief times he might have felt some level of enjoyment was there, but as to looking forward to waking up each day – to be honest, Harry didn't think he ever would _really_ enjoy that sensation again. He didn't see how there could be joy in life again. What else was there to do but just survive, going on from day to day? He supposed there was nothing else, because after destroying Voldemort and losing Ginny, nothing really seemed to matter anymore. They all saw that he seemed depressed, and not just some of the time, all the time. It worried Ron's family and Hermione, but Harry didn't care. There was no reason to live anymore. He would just go on surviving from day to day for as long as he could. There would never be any reason to want more from life. What else was there? Harry didn't need to answer that question, because he already knew the answer.

So, life went on, albeit slowly. Harry's depression didn't leave him, nor did his haze. He knew that everyone else saw him as cold and standoffish, but to be completely frank, he did not care. It did not matter what they thought, because none of them could make him feel any better. Nothing could. No matter how good or bad the weather was, his emotions never changed. On one particular morning, the sun was shining unusually brightly, but for all Harry cared, it could have been snowing in July, and he would have taken no notice whatsoever. This day, he just walked into the Ministry and to the Auror Department like everyone else did, and ignored all the comments everyone was making about how good the weather was. Why did it matter anyway? Life went on, even if it was raining. It was just weather. So, he met up with Ron and they went through training. Ron hurried ahead as they were leaving to go and help George in the shop, and Harry just kept walking, until that is, when he had the strangest feeling.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as his feet stopped dead in their tracks. His stomach churned ever so slightly in way he knew he had felt before. Harry stood there for a few moments, before slowly turning around to see who was invoking this reaction, and who he found was at the same time both surprising and yet not. Standing near the closest wall was the one and only Draco Malfoy. Yes, while it was a surprise to see Malfoy in the Ministry, what he was feeling now was usual for him, for he had felt this way quite often in the blond's presence. He never could explain it, but had attributed it to the anxiety of their meetings, since they never went well.

Their eyes met, green locking on to grey. His stomach flip-flopped a little. Even though it was only a few moments, the time seemed to stretch on for an eternity. They just stood there, staring at each for only a few moments, completely oblivious to the passers-by going around them, most going home. Voldemort could have walked right past them, and neither of them would have cared. He was so completely wrapped up in the moment, that when somebody bumped into Harry, it threw him completely off balance. He stumbled and fell right into Draco, who caught him on reflex. Gathering his feet underneath him, he stood up, but Draco did not let go. Again, they kept staring at each other. As Harry made to detach himself, one of the blond's pale hands grabbed the front of his robes. Harry gaped at him in shock, but did not have time to think or say anything, because shortly after the blond opened up a nearby abandoned office, and pushed the dark-haired young man inside.

Harry had no time to think or react, because as soon Draco closed and locked the door, Harry found himself being pushed up against the wall. Like so many other events in the past few moments, he once again found things happening faster than he could ask why or move out of, but this time what Draco did was the last thing he would ever have expected. He found the blond's lips upon his own in a rough yet breathtaking kiss. Harry just stood there, his mind reeling in shock. The moment Draco kissed him, he felt the haze that he had been in lifting, a warmth appearing in the pit of stomach. The kiss didn't last very long, because soon after he had initiated it, Draco broke the kiss and made to leave. Harry felt the coldness seep over him again at the loss it. On impulse, Harry grabbed Draco, pulling him back and kissing him firmly on the lips, anything to feel the warmth again. This time, the warmth started to grow, reaching all the way down to his toes.

It didn't take Draco long to kiss him back; before long, the two were becoming very enraptured in each other. They were only thinking about this kiss that they were sharing as Draco's arms wrapped around Harry, pulling him to his chest, Harry sliding his arms around Draco's waist as they kissed. Their kiss was deep and passionate, yet still rough and rather forceful. The bodies of the two young men were having quite a positive reaction to this, and after a little while, Draco broke the kiss, but didn't move his hands. "Maybe we should go somewhere private…" the blond ventured, his voice holding a slightly husky tone it. He never imagined after coming here and checking up on a donation his father had made that he would end up snogging Harry Potter… Who would have thought? He didn't know if Harry would agree, nor what this would do to his reputation and his inheritance if his parents found out, but feeling Harry's arousal as well as own, Draco couldn't say he cared.

Harry certainly hadn't expected it either, but this was the first thing he had truly felt since Ginny died, and he wasn't about to throw that away now. It didn't matter that he was feeling this with Draco Malfoy, the point was, that was he _was _feeling it. That's what was important to him right now. "Sure," he told him, his voice husky as well. "How about my place?" Obviously, Draco's place was out the question, since Harry figured he lived at Malfoy Manor with his parents.

"Obviously," he told him, a slightly arrogant tone entering his voice. "Lead the way."

As Draco let go of Harry, Harry removed his hands from Draco's waist, and together they made their way out of the office, which became abandoned once more. After walking out of the Ministry, Harry went to his Apparition point. Knowing that Draco wouldn't know where to go, he Side-Long Apparated him to an alley in Muggle London. Leading him out of the alley, they walked down the side street to the main one. About a block later, they were at Harry's flat building. With a nod to the doorman, Harry and Draco made their way inside, passing the lift to go to the stairs, and walking up the four flights of stairs to Harry's floor. Another few minutes, and they were at his flat – 431. Right after Harry had opened the door, Draco had pushed him inside, locking it.

Erasing the space between them, the blond took Harry in his arms as Harry slid his hands around Draco's waist, and they began kissing deeply once again, neither one of them wasting any time. Neither of them had any idea when they started being attracted to one another, because the attraction and chemistry between the two of them was very evident at this moment, but neither of them cared. As Harry led them both to his bedroom, they continued kissing. Their only concern right now was getting more of whatever this was between them. Well, that and taking care of their growing erections.

When they got to Harry's room, Draco and Harry kicked off their shoes in the doorway. Both of the young men had already removed their robes somewhere in the dark-haired man's living room, the blond quickly removed Harry's shirt and then took off his own. Running his hand down Harry's chest, the blond loved the way it felt underneath his fingers, and it was only a few seconds before Harry was running his hand down the blond's chest. This was not enough for him, though, and he pushed Harry down on his back on his own bed, his hands moving to Harry's trousers, quickly undoing them and pushing them down as far as he could, Harry kicking them off as he hands went to Draco waist, doing the same.

Neither of them was in the mood for foreplay. They weren't concerned with that, and just wanted release here and now, so Draco quickly removed Harry's boxers, and Harry wasted no time in removing the other man's as well. Giving Harry one last passionate kiss, he flipped the other man over, ignoring anything else but the need for release. Harry himself didn't mind, for that was also what was on his mind, and if it felt as good as kissing Draco did, Harry couldn't say that he cared. Draco prepared him slightly for what was to come. While he had no personal experience in such matters, Draco was far from naïve, and it was not his intention to hurt him, regardless of their pasts with one another.

Harry moaned slightly. Draco seemed to be in a hurry, and Harry wasn't arguing with him. Harry felt a hand on his hip, as if Draco was silently asking him for permission. Harry nodded. Draco swore, having left his wand in his robes. "I'll be right back," he whispered a little hoarsely into Harry's ear. Harry was confused, but didn't move. Draco was back in no time, and Harry turned his head to see what the blond was doing, wanting to know. Draco conjured a little bottle of something, and before Harry knew it, Draco had coated himself with it, setting the bottle on the bedside table, and was back on top of Harry. In a few moments, Draco had inserted himself in Harry. Harry screamed, but not in pleasure. He was screaming in pain because this hurt, and it hurt badly. It felt as if he was on fire, and not in a good way. Damn, if he would have known it would hurt this bad, he never would have allowed Draco to do it.

Draco started to panic. He was hurting him, which again, was not his intention. He quickly changed positions, and that didn't help any. Now, Harry was crying from the pain, so Draco changed positions again, and the screaming subsided. Draco went slowly, knowing it would be best. Slowly, Harry began to moan, and thought that maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Yeah, it hurt, but now that Draco had changed positions, it also felt kind of good. It got harder for Draco to control himself as it got closer to his climax, but he managed to control himself so as he did hadn't shag Harry into the mattress. Well, that and it wasn't very long anyway before Draco came, Harry's name on his lips. Harry came not to much longer, crying out Draco's name.

Draco carefully slid himself out of Harry, lying beside on the mattress. Harry didn't move, and the two of them just lay there, before they both dozed off only slightly. A few minutes later, they both woke up, thinking it had just been a dream. Harry, of course, wondered why he was so sore. Honestly, it hurt so damn bad… Just a dream, though, right? A very good dream, but a dream nonetheless. Rolling over, the two young men faced each other, and it became quite clear that it was no dream. A second later, Harry and Draco jumped off the bed and to opposite sides of the room, starting at each other in shock.

Yes, Harry Potter and just been shagged… by Draco Malfoy.


	3. The New Path That Life Sends Us

Chapter 1 – Even Through Death

**Chapter 3 – The New Path That Life Sends Us…**

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy both stood on opposite ends of the room, staring at each other in shock. Now that they had come to their senses, the realization of what they had just done hit them. The fact that they had both enjoyed what they had done together was something the two young men tried not think about. Their hearts were beating very fast, and both felt incredibly ashamed at letting their bodies take control of their actions.

"This never happened," Draco said frankly.

"Yeah," Harry told him in agreement.

They quickly got dressed, avoiding each other's gaze, wishing that they could just turn back the clock and avoid this all together. As Draco walked over to the door of the bedroom, Harry decided that he would open the door so that Draco could just leave and he could slam the door shut behind him, but he'd forgotten that he left his shoes in the doorway earlier as he was in a rush to get them off. As the two young mean stepped near the door, Harry tripped over his own shoes, and began to fall towards Draco. On reflex, the blond caught the dark-haired young man. As Harry steadied himself, he looked up at Draco. The instant their eyes met, both young men knew that Draco was not leaving… at least not yet.

For a moment, they just stood there with Draco's arms lightly around Harry's waist, their eyes locked. Giving in, the blond wrapped his arms tighter on the other man's waist, bringing him closer. Harry didn't fight it. Leaning in, Draco captured the dark-haired young man's lips, glad when Harry eagerly responded to it, wrapping his arms around his neck. Running his hand underneath the dark-haired man's shirt, Draco ran his fingers along every inch of it, loving the way the other man's chest felt beneath his hand. The other hand stayed firmly along his waist, keeping him as close as possible as Harry pushed the blond's robes off his shoulders.

With clumsy fingers, the dark haired young man unbuttoned Draco's shirt and threw it on the floor. It wasn't too much longer after that when Harry's shirt joined it. Before either of the young men realized it, Harry was once again on his back on the bed, Draco above him. The two were still kissing, their kisses growing more passionate and hungry by the second, as they ran their hands along each other's bodies, touching any place they could get their hands on at the moment. It was almost as if the moment they first kissed, a gate had been opened that let years of hidden sexual attraction loose all at once. Running his hand down Harry's chest, the blonde kissed him deeply.

Draco thought about how long he had told himself he wasn't attracted to the Boy-Who-Lived. Heh, now here he was, in the man's flat, above him, kissing him deeply after having just shagged him not too long before. Evidentially, this world certainly had a way of turning one's life upside down, not that he was complaining of course. This was better than anything he'd felt in a long time. In fact, it had been a while since he'd felt anything, and now… the blond had all these feelings that he'd denied himself surging through him, all because of Harry Potter. He decided he didn't care. It was too late to go back now.

Harry himself was thinking along similar lines as one of Draco's hands went towards the waist band of his trousers. He had felt almost nothing since Ginny died, but all he had been doing was feeling since he first kissed Draco. He wasn't sure what it was he was feeling, but all that mattered was that he was feeling something and it felt good, really good… The blond's kisses were forceful, yet soft, dominating, yet never without permission from the person he was kissing. It was an intoxicating combination that Harry never wanted to be rid of.

Draco quickly rid Harry of his trousers and boxers, with Harry's cooperation, before hastily removing his own as well, until they were both naked. The blond gave the dark-haired young man an appreciative gaze as he swept his eyes over Harry's naked body. The dark-haired young man gave a blush, before doing the same. The Ex-Death Eater was soon kissing the Boy-Who-Lived, who was now no longer a boy. Running his hands along Harry's chest, while he did the same, he ground their erections together. They both moaned, and Draco knew that he could not last much longer. Harry couldn't either, which was becoming fairly obvious to the blond.

Flipping him over, Draco quickly found his wand again. Harry laid his head on the side as Draco did the lubrication spell. Trying to not tense up, assuming that it would only make it worse, he could only smile as the blond gave his shoulder a kiss, inserting himself inside him slowly this time. Harry gasped, grabbing the bed sheets. A moan escaped his lips as Draco started to move inside him. Yes, it hurt, but Harry found that now he knew what to expect, somewhat – and Draco went in him in the right position this time – he didn't mind the pain. Besides, he knew that Draco wasn't trying to hurt him, he knew it, which helped, too, and… well, it felt good, better than anything in a long time, if anything ever had.

Draco increased his speed, seeing that Harry didn't seem to mind. Oh, but being inside him felt better than words could ever describe. He was moaning underneath him, and the blond found himself moaning with him. If he had known that it would feel this good, he would have tried to do it sooner… Draco knew that he could not last much longer, and before he knew it, he came inside of Harry. The dark-haired man came soon after he did, and hearing his name on Harry's lips put a smile on his face. Taking himself slowly out of Harry, he collapsed next to him as Harry turned over, looking at him.

For a few minutes, the two young men just laid there, only mere inches apart. The silence seemed to stretch on for hours, though it was only a minute or two. Harry and Draco knew that whatever had existed between them before had been tossed out the window. Things could not possibly be the same now that they were lying together on top of the sheets naked, their clothes on the floor of Harry's bedroom, after having sex twice, and enjoying it… The awkward silence was finally broken by Draco. Now that it was all done, he had something nagging at the back of his mind that he had to ask. Looking at Harry, he asked, "Were you a virgin, before this?"

Harry had been looking at the small space in between him and Draco when he heard the blond's familiar voice. Looking at him, he resisted the urge to answer, afraid of what he would think, or what it would mean now that he realized it… "Were you?"

"I asked you first."

Well, yes, now that was true… Harry nodded in agreement, knowing that if he wanted Draco to answer his question, he had to answer his first. The Boy-Who-Lived took a deep breath, nervous in front of him. "Yes, I was… before this."

Draco wasn't entirely surprised. He could tell Harry was nervous, and found no reason to tease him for being a virgin before this night. "You and that Weasley girl never did anything?" His voice held that aristocratic tone Malfoy's were known for.

Harry turned his piercing green glare on Draco. "Her name was Ginny, which you know damn well." His dislike of Draco's tone was clear. "And no, we didn't… snogging, and a little oral, but nothing more than that."

The blond let the matter of name-calling drop. He nodded. Knowing that Harry would ask him to answer his question, he decided to answer it before he told him to. "I wasn't, a virgin that is," he told him. "With guys, yes, but not with girls. Technically, I still am a virgin with guys since I've been never been on bottom, if you want to think of that way." Of course, that last statement was fairly obvious.

Honestly, Harry didn't care one way or the other. With a lot more boldness than he felt, he reached over and ran a hand slowly down Draco's chest. "I could fix that," he asked, a flirtatious tone to his voice.

A smile crossed Draco's face, and he trapped Harry's hand as it ventured to his lower stomach. "As tempting as that is, we shouldn't, because then, I'd be tempted to stay, and my parents would get suspicious, and that would be a bad thing."

"Oh, yes, your parents… Forgot about them," Harry said, not removing his hands. "I don't know what your mother thinks of me, though I'm sure it's not fond, but I know your father hates me." None of his memories of either of them were fond.

"Hate would be an understatement, I'm sure," Draco told him, and then the silence fell over them again.

Harry decided to break the silence with a nagging question. "Who have you been with?" The dark-haired young man was strangely curious for a reason he couldn't explain.

"Pansy Parkinson," he answered without hesitation.

A look of disgust crossed Harry's face and he shuddered. "Ew. You couldn't have done better? I mean, ew…"

The blond chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I know, and she was easy, so it was convenient at the moment," he told him. "Besides, it told me what I need to know." Harry's beautiful green eyes gave him a questioning gaze, so Draco decided to answer. "That I'm gay."

"Ah," Harry said, nodding. "I'm not, at least I think I'm not… I mean, I really liked Ginny, but then there's this, and –" Draco shut his rambling up with a kiss, and Harry moved his hand to Draco's waist, bringing the two of them closer. "When did… this start?" He would of course knew what he meant by "this".

Draco thought, but made no move to push Harry away. Instead, he put his hand on the dark-haired man's waist, rubbing it. "I'm not entirely sure, though I clearly remembered developing a crush on you when I saw you at the Yule Ball. That was when I really started questioning my sexuality."

Harry nodded, until his brain registered exactly what year Draco had implied. "That was five years ago!"

Draco nodded. "Yes, it was, though it may have gone all the way back to our first meeting in Madam Malkins. Remember that?" He asked him. "I was so drawn to you. It didn't matter I had no clue who you were, or what any of this was at the time." Harry nodded. "What about you?" Draco asked.

Harry thought about it for a moment. "Well, I'm not exactly sure…" Neither one of them even mentioned the fact that they seemed unusually comfortable around each other considering the circumstances. They were only a few inches apart and naked. "Well, I was obsessed with you in our sixth year, because I was so sure you were a Death Eater." Of course, he had been right, but that was beside the point. "That could easily be attributed to the fact that when I get my mind on something, I'm obsessive by nature." Harry thought some more. "I was drawn to you when we first met, though, I wanted to hate you so much, because you embodied everything I hated in a person. I probably told myself that so much that I believed it." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"I do remember, though, about a year ago, at the Battle for Hogwarts, when Ron, Hermione, and I ran into you, Crabbe, and Goyle in the Room of Requirement. Do you remember?" Yes, he remembered. That was the day Crabbe had died, from his own stupidity. "When we went back for you and Goyle… I was coming back for you, and you alone. That's why I put you on my broom, because… even though I told myself I hated you, I had to save you, even it meant risking not only my life, but the lives of my two best friends as well." They both remembered that day clearly, for different reasons, but that moment stood out in both of their minds.

"I remember," Draco told him. "I was terrified." The blond was shocked he had said that aloud, but he supposed that there was no reason to hide it from Harry, because… well, that day he had been screaming, so what point would there be in denying it? Harry would probably just call him on it anyway. "I remember clutching to your waist and screaming. Luckily, I was too preoccupied with almost dying to think too much about how close we were, though I have to admit, it did feel good." Harry blushed slightly, and Draco smiled at him. "I should go," he told him, moving to get up, but Harry's hand on his waist kept him in place, the look in his eyes willing him to stay there. Slowly, the dark-haired young man eased his grasp, and Draco got up.

Moving so that he was on his back, Harry's heart started beating faster, and he realized he didn't want him to go. "Will I see you again?" He found himself saying before he could stop himself. He tried to take it back, but Draco answered before he got a chance.

Getting back on the bed, Draco knelt beside him, looking down. "Well, we have to be sporadic, because my parents can't get suspicious, and I doubt your friends would be happy, either, so…" He thought for a moment before continuing. "Two months."

Harry's heart fell. "It makes sense..." He said, his voice trailing off for a bit. "Okay. When?"

Draco thought again, and then a brilliant idea struck him. "How about June sixth?"

Harry shrugged. "Okay. Why that day, just out of curiosity?"

"It's the day after my birthday."

The dark-haired man nodded. "Okay."

Draco sighed, laughing lightly. "You know, Harry, it's a good thing you're gorgeous, because you are dense."

Harry was taken by surprise. "How am I dense?" It was then that his brain registered the first part of Draco's sentence. "Wait, I'm gorgeous?" Had he really meant that? Was he gorgeous?

The blond gave him a smile full of emotion that made Harry's heart soar. "Yes, you are gorgeous, unbearably so sometimes," he said, running his hand down the side of the dark-haired man's body as he spoke.

Harry couldn't help but smile back. Then a thought struck him… "Wait, how am I dense?"

"Well, because I thought it would make a good belated birthday present for me," Draco responded. All Harry could do was say, "Oh," as a furious blush crossed his face. The blond couldn't help but smile. The dark-haired young man was gorgeous no matter what he did. After giving him a kiss firm on the lips, Draco said, "I should go now, or I won't be leaving." As Draco made to get up again, Harry grabbed and kissed him deeply. The blond accepted the other man's kiss eagerly, but broke it rather quickly, knowing he should not be tempted to stay, or he wouldn't leave, and that could cause problems with his parents. Smiling at him, he said, "See you in two months."

The date seemed so… far from now, but he didn't say anything, and merely watched as Draco got dressed and left, closing the door to the bedroom behind him. Harry just lay there, listening as he heard the front door close, as well. Sighing, as he laid there, he wondering why he had the urge to run after him, and drag Draco back in the room…


	4. Can Sometimes Be Quite Unexpected

**Chapter 4 – …Can Sometimes Be Quite Unexpected**

Harry didn't know how long he had laid there in the bed to the point where he lost track of time. For all he knew, he could have been asleep. All he could think about was Draco, and how good it had felt to be with him. This night seemed like a dream, a weird, but very good dream, one that he would love to repeat. Sighing sadly, the dark-haired young man was almost sure that it was a dream. Honestly, how could he have been shagged by Draco Malfoy? No matter how bloody good it had felt. Finally, he managed to move, and it wasn't until then, as he tried to get off the bed, that he realized that what had happened that night had been no dream.

Harry Potter had never been so sore in his life. He'd have to get some kind of potion, because there was no way he could go through Auror training tomorrow being as sore as he was. Of course, there was always the possibility of making one himself… but he didn't want to take the chance of messing it up. His potion skills had never been very reliable, though he'd proved in his Potions OWL that he was actually quite capable. It might be safer to buy the ingredients himself, but then he'd actually have to make it, and he did not know how long it took to make a potion like that, so there he was back to buying it again.

Despite his soreness, Harry managed to put new sheets on his bed. Magic was so useful sometimes. Since Harry could actually use magic within the privacy of his own flat as long as there were no muggles around, he was safe. He also took a shower, before going to bed, though he didn't sleep that well. The next day, he did manage to go to Diagon Alley and buy a potion to relieve sore muscles, using Auror Training as an excuse. The potion took effect almost immediately, and was he very glad that he didn't have to go the rest of the day that sore…

Of course, that was when he started thinking logically about what had happened the night before. After thinking about it, Harry became sure that there was no way that Draco could have meant it – shagging him that was. It was obviously a one-night stand, and with that thought, the ex-Boy-Who-Lived was certain that he had felt worse that he had before. He had actually slept with Draco Malfoy, and for what? A one-night stand that wouldn't mean anything to the blond. Of course, he was probably at home laughing about how he had made a fool of Harry Potter.

After _that, _he could most certainly say he felt worse than ever, though he wasn't quite sure why. Yes, he had fallen for it, but… why did he feel so horribly depressed? Was it only because he had actually thought it meant something, or was it more? Was it because it felt so bloody good? That the feelings Draco had created in him were the only things he'd felt since Ginny died. The admittance of that statement weighed heavily on his mind, and he tried his hardest to not think of the implications of what that might mean, for it was not a path he wanted to go down.

Harry immersed himself in training that day, doing everything he could to forget about the blond, but to no avail. Everyone noticed that he seemed a little distracted, and he had to deal with Ron's constant asking if he was okay, to which Harry, of course, always replied, "Yes, Ron, I'm fine." He could not wait for the end of the day to come so he wouldn't have to answer any more questions. After all, it wasn't as if he could tell them the truth. "Yeah, I got shagged by Draco Malfoy last night. I bloody loved it, and I'm a bloody fool for that, but there you go." Heh, as if that would work out…

As Harry made his way to leave, Ron stepped in front of him and stopped. "Hey, mate, hold on a second."

"Look, Ron, if you here to tell me that you want to talk about what's bothering me, don't bother, because I'm not interested in talking about it, because nothing's bothering me." With that, Harry tried to go around, but Ron blocked his way out.

"It's not that," said his red-haired best friend. "There's something that I need to tell you, but I'm waiting for Hermione."

As if on cue, the brown, bushy-haired girl came up, and stood right by Ron, who immediately put his arm around his girlfriend of almost two years. "Oh, good, you're here, Harry," she said. Sadly, she was almost as tall he was, only shorter by an inch or two. Ron towered over them both.

They both had proud looks on their faces, and kept glancing and smiling at each other. Harry was about to ask what was up, when Ron proudly announced, "We're getting married. We're engaged. I proposed to her last night, and she said yes."

"Of course, I said yes," Hermione said, sharing a short kiss, which brought painful memories of his night with Draco. "We're thinking of an August wedding, and we want you to be Best Man. We didn't want to have the wedding in September, because it's so close to Fleur's due date, you know, she's due the beginning of October. We want her to be Maiden of Honour, so we didn't want it to be too close, you know, the stress…"

"Of course, congratulations, you two," Harry said, trying really hard to sound as if he was happy for them, because truly, he was, but… the dark-haired young man felt that nothing could make him happy right now, not even hearing the good news of his two best friends.

"We're going over to Mum and Dad's tonight for dinner," Ron said, "and we're going to announce it tonight. We'll floo Charlie in Romania, and tell him then. We told them to invite Bill and Fleur, so they're coming, too. George will be there, and we'll tell everyone at once." Ron looked so proud, and Harry felt guilty for not being happier, but he simply could not muster the happiness right now. "Would you like to come?"

Harry shook his head. He didn't want the rest of the Weasley's asking what was wrong. George was probably the only one that wouldn't. "No, thanks, I just… I'm really tired. Just give them my best, and tell George I'm sorry for not coming over yesterday to help, but I got home to change and just… fell asleep." George had asked him and Ron to help after Auror Training the day before, since he was short handed. Of course, both Harry and Ron had agreed, but Harry had gotten side tracked.

"Sure, no problem, mate," Ron said. "Bye." Though he was obviously a little put out that Harry wasn't coming and with that, he started leading Hermione away. She waved, telling him to get some more rest if he was so tired, but Harry doubted he would. _Great, _he thought suddenly. _Even if they don't know it, Draco just managed to upset my best friends, too._

Of course, Harry didn't get more sleep, nor did he over the next two months, as the date from the time he was supposed to meet Draco grew closer. On the date they were supposed to meet, Harry had never been so depressed. Again, people asked questions, and Harry blew them off. At least everyone usually believed him to a point, but he knew Hermione didn't. She was the one person he had never been able to fool.

The dark-haired young man hurried out of the Ministry, away from all the prying eyes, and people who recognized him. He desperately wanted to escape to the Muggle World where he was just "Harry Potter, some guy who seemed depressed and live in a flat in London," instead of "Harry Potter, Chosen One, Saviour of the Wizarding World, Boy Who Lived" and all that crap.

He appeared in the alleyway next to his flat building. As he turned to corner, he saw someone leaning against the building. As he got closer, he realized who it was. His green eyes grew wide in shock as he froze in front of him, staring.

Draco Malfoy stood outside the door of Harry Potter's flat. He was having trouble moving away from the flat, away from Harry, and he didn't know why. It didn't make any sense! It shouldn't matter just because he had a couple of passionate shags with him. It was just sex. Right? Yes, it was just sex. That's what the blond told himself, and it's what he willed himself to believe as he stood there in front of the door, resisting the urge to run back in there and shag him until they both couldn't any longer.**  
**

_I can't, _he told himself. _You cannot go back in there, Draco, and you know why. _He did know why. Draco knew that if he went back into that flat right now, he'd never leave. He wanted Harry that badly and honestly didn't understand why. Sure, the other young man was… well, to put it quite frankly, he was drop dead gorgeous, and yes, he himself was gay, but… Harry Potter of all people? It didn't make any sense, but there was no denying what he was feeling, not anymore, and there was no denying what they had done together, or how they had felt. That had become painfully obvious.

Realizing that he simply could not stand outside of Harry's door, he slowly started to move away. Draco tried to walk as calmly as he could out of the flat building to find that night had fallen. The sun had still been up when he and Harry had entered the building, but now the last remnants of the day were slowly fading away for the dark blanket of night to fall. Perhaps when they had fallen asleep, it had been for a little more than a few minutes after all…

Walking around the corner, the blond found the alleyway that they had Apparated into, and used it to Apparate back to Malfoy Manor, or its grounds to be more precise. There were wards put up around Malfoy Manor to stop anyone from directly apparating in or out. Unfortunately, for him, this made sneaking into the house a bit more difficult. He was supposed to be home already, and if either of his parents noticed his absence… well, he would have to think of something to cover his tracks and fast, and hope that they believed him. The truth would cause him too much trouble.

Sneaking round to a side door, he slowly opened it, and stepped inside. Closing the door softly behind him, he crept his way to his room, hoping to go unnoticed. Thinking that it might actually work, he had just reached his room on the second floor when his mother spotted him, calling out to him. "Draco, dear, where have you been?" She asked him. "Your father and I expected you home already. Did you get held up at the Ministry?"

Draco froze, thinking quickly as to what to tell her. "No, mother, I went to Diagon Alley, then Knockturn Alley." That was the truth; he had visited there briefly. If they asked if he'd been there, the answer would be yes. "It took a little longer than I'd originally thought. You know me."

His mother smiled at him. "Yes, I do," she told him, "and as long as you're home now and didn't run into any trouble, that's what matters."

He nodded. "Yes, Mother," he replied. "I'm going to get in the shower now, and then go to bed early. I'm not hungry. Goodnight, Mother." She gave him a polite nod of her head, wishing him goodnight as well as he went inside the relative safety of his own room.

Draco just stood there momentarily before making his way towards the bathroom, taking his clothes off as he went until he was stark naked. Walking over to the shower, he turned the handles until the temperature was just right before stepping in. The water was nice and warm, just how he liked it. The blond allowed the water to run down his body as he stood there in the shower, and it was not long before his thoughts drift to Harry, his new lover, as it would seem.

Draco took a deep breath as he began to wash himself, his thoughts never leaving the gorgeous dark-haired young man he had been with not too long ago. It was incredible how in a few moments your life could change forever. Before tonight, before that moment when Harry tripped and he had caught him, his life had been planned out. Grow up, become the perfect Malfoy, get married to a Pureblood Witch, and have a male heir. Simple… right? Obviously not so simple, as it would turn out.

Well, growing up had… not been easy, per se, but he'd managed it. Draco had already screwed up being the "perfect Malfoy" by being gay, so naturally, the last two had disgusted him… and well, getting married to a Pureblood witch was one thing. That one he could actually do, as long as he could manage to kiss her, but he knew what it would take to actually produce a male heir, and the thought of actually having sex again with any woman made him sick to his stomach. Before tonight, he'd known he was gay, but never kissed another man, never been with one. He'd never actually tasted what it was like, only to know in his mind that it would one day be taken away.

Now he did. He'd been with Harry, known how good it felt, and now he knew that one day it would end, unless Harry agreed to sleep with him even though he was married, which he honestly didn't think he would. It was possible, but unlikely. Oh, yes, life for a Malfoy was just grand… It was one downer after another… Being Gay… Voldemort… now this. It would only be so long that he could put off his parents before they would start getting suspicious and he would have pick a bride and marry her. He knew it was something he had no choice over. There was nothing he could do.

Draco didn't sleep too well that night, or too many nights after that. He ached for Harry, in many ways. Luckily, he'd become a pretty good actor, so he managed to fool his parents, though he knew he had to be careful. They were both fair actors themselves, and if he wasn't cautious, they would see right through it. His father had always intimidated him, so it was him Draco was the most careful around. His mother would usually believe him, but if his father even got slightly suspicious… Let's just say that Draco did fear Lucius Malfoy's temper, and always had. He had seen it before, and it was not something he wanted to see again.

The closer and closer Draco got to the date that he and Harry would meet again, the more anxious he got. What if it wasn't the same? What if things were different? What if it was just some one-night fluke? The blond was not sure which scared him more, or if it was a combination of the both. When the day finally came, the night before he'd barely slept at all. Draco waited until a time when he thought Harry would be coming home from the Ministry, and then Apparated to the same alleyway that Harry had Side-Long Apparated him to that night two months ago.

Walking to the flat building, he leaned up against the wall and waited. Ten minutes passed, and the other young man still had not shown up. Draco was actually beginning to get afraid that Harry had forgotten when there he was… he had walked around from the alleyway, and there he stood in front of him, a look of shock on his face as his brilliant green eyes fell upon him. There he was, waiting for him outside of the building where he lived, where they had first been together, and where they would be together again.

"Draco… you… you came," Harry told him, the shock quite evident in his voice.

The blond scoffed. "Of course I did," he said. "I told you I would, didn't I?" He neglected to mention that he had been waiting for about fifteen minutes outside.

"Well," Harry said, beginning to tell him everything he'd been thinking over the past two months, but then decided against it. "Yeah." With that, he walked around him, letting him in the building.

They walked silently for a few minutes, reaching the stairwell and starting up, before Draco broke the silence. "You acted as if you were surprised to see me. You did remember that today was when we were supposed to meet again, didn't you?" The blond tried to hold the questioning, curious tone out of his voice, not wanting Harry to know that he didn't want him to have forgotten.

"Well, I…" Harry started, before pausing, wondering what to say, before plunging into the sea of truth. "I guess I managed to convince myself that you were playing me." He continued walking, avoiding Draco's gaze, but quickly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to look at the person who owned that hand.

Draco had laid his hand on Harry's shoulder, looking deeply into Harry's eyes. Before he could stop himself and remind himself that this was a public stairwell to all the residents of the flat, he had put his hands on either side of the dark-haired young man's face, and kissed him deeply and passionately, before breaking the kiss. "Did that feel like I was playing you?"

Harry shook his head. It certainly didn't. The kiss had left him breathless. "No," he simply said, shaking his head.

"Good," Draco told him, and with that, they started up again.

Once they finished the four-floor trek up to his flat, Harry led Draco to his door, the blond standing right behind him the whole way. As soon as the door was unlocked and open, letting them in, the ex-Death Eater had closed the door behind him. Stepping in front of him, Draco grabbed Harry firmly, and shoving him roughly against the door, erasing the space between them in passionate, desperate kiss as Harry forgot everything but the feel of Draco's lips against his, dropping his keys on the ground, and melting into the blond.


	5. I Love How It Feels To Be With You

**Chapter 5 – I Love How It Feels To Be With You…**

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy could not believe that they had both gone two months without this. At this moment, it seemed a miracle that they had lasted that long. Draco held Harry up against the door as they kissed passionately. Harry had melted into his blond lover the moment he had initiated the kiss. Moving towards the bedroom, the two young men quickly tore at each other's clothing as they kissed, ridding themselves of it, as it was no longer required. The clothes were thrown across the room. Neither knew where as all they had on their minds were getting them off. It didn't matter where they landed, as long as the clothes were off.

As they made their way to the bed that lay centred in the room, Harry was pushed on his back on the bed. It seemed that Draco was the dominant type. That didn't bother Harry at all, which would probably come as shock to most people – Harry Potter didn't mind being submissive. However, that wasn't really on his mind at the moment. What was on his mind was the naked blond on top him, and his ever growing arousal, which was aching for the blond to take him quickly and swiftly, which seemed to be the direction Draco was taking things as well. That suited Harry just fine. He'd gone two months, and he didn't want to wait much longer.

As they kissed, memories of their last time together came flooding back. Harry and Draco remembered every touch, every kiss… As the ex-Death Eater ground their arousal's together, the blond remembered how it felt to have his manhood inside of him. The dark-haired man himself remembered how it felt to have Draco's manhood inside of him as he pushed inside. The idea itself made him ache with arousal; he knew where this was headed, and thought that if Draco didn't get to it soon, Harry was going to make him. This was starting to become more than he could bear; he wanted Draco, and he wanted him now.

Luckily, that was not necessary, because with one last, breath-taking kiss, his blond lover had turned him on his stomach. Harry waited expectantly in anticipation of what was to come as he heard the same spell that was used last time to conjure a bottle of lubricant being uttered behind him. He hadn't noticed that the blond had kept his wand, but who cared. Draco kissed his neck before slowly entering his lover's body. The feeling was almost overwhelming, and Draco was struck by how good the other man felt. The blond moved slow, wanting this to last as long as possible. He figured, like last time, it wouldn't last that long, though. Neither of them had the two times they had done this last time they had been together.

As he got closer and closer to climaxing, the blond sped up. Draco just couldn't help himself; it felt so good being inside of him, it was almost mind blowing. Harry didn't seem to mind how hard he was going; in fact, he seemed to enjoy it. This, of course, was something Draco enjoyed. He would think about what it meant later, but for now, all he could think about was the gorgeous young man underneath him. Harry's mind was focused on only his blond lover inside him. The dark-haired young man didn't think that this feeling would ever be matched as long as he lived, and with that thought, he could hold off no more, and came, Draco's name on his lips. That was the young Malfoy's undoing, and he came shortly after.

Draco just stayed there, and Harry made no move to get him off – or out – of him. After giving him a kiss on his shoulder blade, the blond slowly removed himself from inside of his lover, and rolled over to lie beside him. With that, the dark-haired young man was free to roll over as well so that the two young men lay side by side. The blond turned over on his side to look at the other man; Harry felt him look at him, and turned his head, a smile on his face. Draco couldn't help but to smile back. For someone who had never had much reason to smile, he found himself smiling a lot at Harry for reasons he could not explain. However, as he looked at him, he knew that this would make his life more difficult, but somehow, Draco knew it would be worth it.

Harry decided to break the silence first, but he really didn't know what to say. The blond had broken the silence first last time. After the first time he'd said that it had never happened, and after the second, he'd asked him if he'd been a virgin, to which Harry's answer had been yes. The question was – what do you say to someone after you have sex with them? "That was amazing," he decided on saying. Well, it was true… may not be the most intelligent thing to say, but his mind wasn't really cooperating right now, and honestly, who could blame it?

Draco sighed. "Yes, it was…" The smile never left his face, and neither did Harry's. "I always heard people talking about how great sex was, but since I only had my one time with Pansy, who was a girl, to go on…" The blond shrugged, never taking his eyes of the dark-haired man in front of him.

Harry nodded. When they had gotten into their later years of Hogwarts, many of their fellow students started to experiment with sex. Due to his… limited experience, he hadn't understood it either. Well, until Ginny came along. Then the idea of sex seemed… good, but that didn't happen. "Well, I kissed Cho Chang in our fifth year, but that was… okay," he told him. "I didn't really 'get' it until…" He paused for a moment, before telling himself to continue. "Ginny." A brief sadness washed over him, but as he looked at Draco's face, he felt the sadness melt away.

Draco seemed to notice, because he gave that smile that never failed to make Harry's heart soar, which is precisely the reason why he did it. "You miss her, don't you?"

The sadness washed over him again, and Harry looked away, nodding. "Very much," he managed to say. "After she died, I felt… nothing. I just went around in a haze, feeling nothing."

Draco nodded. He understood. Reaching out, he turned Harry's head so that he was looking at him again. "What changed?"

Harry seemed confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're certainly not hazy or unfeeling now," he pointed out. "What happened?"

Harry froze for a moment, and then told himself that there was no reason to hold the truth from the man he was sleeping with. Undoubtedly, the blond would end up finding out anyway. "You happened, Draco." His brows furrowed in confusion for a moment before Harry plunged into to that ever present sea of truth he couldn't seem to get away from when he was with Draco. "After Ginny died, I didn't feel… anything. At all. I was depressed all the time, it was like… I lived in this cloudy haze or something. I went to work, came home, and was always a cloudy, depressed bore."

Harry was nervous about what the blond would think, so he tried to finish as quickly as possible without talking fast enough so that he'd have to repeat himself. "Then you came along. You took me in that abandoned office after you caught me, and then kissed me. I know it wasn't very long, but when you kissed me… I didn't feel like that anymore." A blush crossed his face. He was sure Draco would say something, but he didn't. He just lied there, watching him as he spoke. "I had to feel that again, because it was the first thing I'd felt in almost a year. I had to feel that way again, so I kissed you, and well, you know the rest." Harry's blush deepened; he looked away, and then Draco chuckled softly.

"Yes, I do… quite clearly, in fact," he said, his grey eyes holding a heated look in them as he looked at his green-eyed lover. "It was an amazing night."

Harry nodded, the deep blush still ever present on his cheeks. "Yes, it was," he said, softly. As if that needed to be said.

"What did you feel?"

Harry's eyes snapped back up at Draco. "What?" He was sure he hadn't heard him right. He couldn't have, could he?

"When we kissed that day in the office, what did you feel?"

Harry paused. That was a question he had tried not to think about. He knew Draco would want an answer, though, so he racked his brain, but the myriad of emotions present inside of him would not allow it. "To be quite honest, I don't know," he told him, hoping he didn't sound too stupid.

"What do you feel now?"

This was not happening. What was Draco getting at? Was he scared at the prospect of their being something more between them than sex? Oh, of course he was. Harry was scared about that, too. It simply wasn't possible, though. Nothing about that made sense. "I don't know the answer to that, either." Harry smirked. "That's stupid, isn't it?"

Draco shook his head. "No, it's not," he assured Harry, his voice unusually calm, "because I don't know either." That took Harry by surprise. His green eyes widened in shock at the statement. Seeing that Harry was confused, Draco decided to explain. "I wasn't feeling anything either… after the war that it is. It was so… hard. It took a lot out of me. I had to shut myself off to survive, and I guess… well, I guess it was just easier to keep things that way, so I stopped feeling anything." Draco sighed for a moment, before continuing. "I knew I should have realized you would be there, but it didn't occur to me, and then I saw you standing there… I couldn't explain it. I was fine until I caught you in my arms… Feeling you like that, I just… well, I just acted. I took you into that office behind me, and kissed you briefly, content to let it be that, or so I thought."

Harry smirked. "Then I kissed you back."

Draco nodded. "Yes, and that was it," he told his lover. "I had to have you then, which is why I suggested going someplace… private, but when we finished, well… it really hit me what I'd done, so I tried to just leave and forget it, but then you tripped _again_ and well…" The blond shrugged. "I decided to give up."

Harry's smirk turned into a smile. It was rare nowadays. Harry hardly ever smiled, but with Draco around… It almost seemed as if there was a reason, but he quickly shoved those thoughts back. "I'm glad we did," he said, implying that Harry too had given up. They had both known there was no denying what they felt. Not after knowing what it was like.

The two young men laid there and looked at each other. It was quite… different and unusual to think that they had just poured their hearts out to each other. Not to mention the fact that they were both naked as they just had sex. They both realized that it was necessary. Harry and Draco knew very well that that the two of them should not be here together, but they were. It felt incredible… and they deserved to know as much as possible about why the other, once an enemy, was so willing to give themselves over.

Harry glanced away in the silence of the moment. Of course, Draco couldn't have that. Reaching a hand out, he turned his lover's face to look him in the eyes, and then leaned forward and kissed him deeply. The green-eyed young man responded eagerly, guiding Draco on top of him, something the blond needed no coercing in order to do. He did have an ulterior motive, though. He had noticed something since they had started having sex with each other, and he was curious about it. Harry didn't seem to mind it when he went rough. Now, Draco had no personal experience being on the bottom, but he did know that it had to hurt… at least somewhat. So, the question was… was it just a little bit of pain or would he also not mind a little more?

It didn't take Draco long before he was hard and aching to be inside Harry again. His dark-haired lover was very tempting. Draco couldn't get enough of him when they were together. It seemed Harry couldn't either, because he was pushing their arousals together, making sure that the blond knew _exactly_ what he was feeling and what he wanted. Not that Draco needed any reminding… or encouraging. He was all too young to repeat the wonderful shagging they'd done earlier. He knew that Harry wanted him to take him, preferably sooner, and Draco was all too happy to oblige him. Besides, how could anyone possibly resist the incredible body that he had underneath him right now?

The blond flipped Harry over onto his stomach, and grabbed the bottle again, coating his manhood and his lover's arse with it. With that, he pushed deep inside Harry in one swift stroke. He could hear his lover gasp underneath him, and Draco began to go hard, going a little faster than he had before, prepared to stop if it seemed that he was hurting Harry, but the dark-haired man didn't seem to mind at all. He saw him clutch the bed sheets underneath him. Gripping his lover's hips, the blond dug his fingernails into them as felt himself getting closer to climaxing, and knew he couldn't last much longer, especially with Harry moaning beneath him in pleasure. When Harry came with his name on his lips, as he always did, that was Draco's undoing. He came into his dark-haired lover, with his lover's name on his lips.

Satisfied in more than one way, Draco stayed there for a moment. He revelled in the feeling of being inside Harry, before pulling himself out, and laying beside him on his back, noticing that his fingers had left marks on his hips. Harry hadn't at all; in fact, he seemed to have enjoyed it more, if that was possible. It seemed that he had been right to try it, then. He heard Harry sigh next to him, a sigh of contentment. "I take you it approved," Draco said to him, a smirk on his face as he turned his head to look at him.

Harry rolled over on his side to face him. "Approved?" He repeated, a note of incredulity to his voice. "That was amazing… as usual. I more than approved." The dark-haired man gave his blond lover a smouldering look with his bright green eyes.

Draco wasn't through with the questions yet. He had a thing or two more than he wanted to verify before he was sure… "That's good," he said, a smug tone to his voice. "It didn't hurt? I was pretty rough on you…" He had been. Had Harry even noticed?

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, it did," he said, "but it didn't bother me." He paused for a moment, and a blush began creeping to his cheeks. "Actually, I… liked it."

_That's what I thought, _Draco thought to himself as he smirked. Mixed with the pleasure when they did it right, Harry actually liked the pain if he inflicted it. Of course, that wasn't all of a masochist's true nature, but close enough. "Interesting…" The blond said aloud. "Harry Potter is masochistic." The dark-haired young man next to him just blinked at him. "You like pain during sex." Harry nodded in understanding. "Actually, from what I know, anyway, a true masochistic also likes to be humiliated, abused, and dominated during sex. Being dominated doesn't seem to be a problem for you, but we'd have to experiment with the other two if you wanted."

Harry stared at him for a moment. "You'd do that?"

Draco shrugged. "Sure, why not? We're lovers, aren't we? What's wrong with testing things out to see what works and what doesn't, right?" The blond noticed how it made things seem more real when he said the words aloud. "We're lovers." He pushed the feelings away, but he couldn't help but feel that things seemed different now that he'd admitted it aloud. They were lovers.

Harry noticed it, too, and couldn't keep the smile off his face at the words if he'd wanted to; Draco smiled _that _smile – _his_ smile, he liked to think, since he was sure Draco never smiled at anyone else that way – and Harry thought it was just fine with him if things seemed different now. They were lovers, and that was something Harry found that he liked quite a bit. "Yes, we are lovers, and no, I wouldn't think there'd be anything wrong with experimenting," he told him. "It's a bit… unusual, though." A blush crossed his face.

Draco never failed to be amused by Harry's blushes. Besides, he loved how it looked on him. "It's fine, don't worry about it," he told him, pushing away any thoughts about it not just being a kink of Harry's; that was the only reason he could see. "We'll figure things out as we go along. Everyone else does." With that, Draco rolled over on top of Harry, and kissed him deeply. "I have to go." He kissed again, and Harry forced himself to let Draco get up.

"A month?" Harry asked him.

Draco nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"Then… around July thirty-first." It was Harry's turn to smirk now.

"Why?"

"It's my birthday."

Draco smirked back. "I'll be there," he told him. The blond got back on the bed, and kissed him deeply once again. With that, he left before Harry's amazing body tempted him to stay anymore than he already had; he'd be enticed never to leave and shag him until they both couldn't any longer.


	6. And I Can't Wait to See You Again

**Chapter 6 – …And I Can't Wait to See You Again.**

Draco Malfoy made his way out of the building that Harry Potter's flat was located in, and into the alleyway out of which they Apparated. It was mere moments later that he found himself back outside the wards of Malfoy Manor. He walked through the grounds and into the house, hoping he could get in without being caught. He did not feel like dealing with either of his parents right now. His mother had caught him last time. Maybe this time he could get by without being noticed. Almost to his room, Draco heard a voice from behind him. He silently groaned. Of course, he should not be so lucky. This time, though, the voice did not belong to his mother.

"Draco, you disappeared without saying anything," his father told him. "Your mother has been worried."

Composing himself quickly and pushing back the dread he felt at being caught by his father, he turned around to face him. "Sorry, father, I thought I said something earlier today." Draco sincerely hoped he would buy it; it was a lot harder lying to his father than it was lying to his mother. His mother would usually believe anything he told her, within reason. His father, on the other hand, was an expert liar due to his many years as a Death Eater. If he was not careful, his father would see right through him.

His father's eyes observed him. "You did not," he told him. "You should be careful, Draco. You shouldn't worry your mother like that."

Draco nodded politely, keeping his face even and composed, though he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "My apologies, Father," he told him. "I will be more careful next time." He was about to turn around and to go into his room, in a hurry to escape his father's gaze. Unfortunately, the older man was not finished with him yet.

"Where were you tonight, Draco?" Lucius asked him. "You were gone for quite some time." His tone was, as it had been for the entire conversation, curious yet accusatory. It was clear that his father suspected something from his unexplained disappearance tonight.

_Of course, I was_, he thought to himself. _I was preoccupied by my gorgeous lover. _Draco would drop dead before he ever told his father that. "Diagon and Knockturn Alley." This time, Draco had not visited there, so he hoped that his father took his word for it, and didn't check up on where he had been. If he did, he'd have a lot of explaining to do…

Lucius nodded. "You and your mother spend so much time there sometimes," he told him. "Find anything interesting?" His father did not enjoy shopping as much as he and his mother did, and didn't understand how it could be something else other than a necessity.

Draco shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "A few things, nothing of real interest, though," he told him, not giving away anything that might make his father suspicious. He did not need that. His father would never approve of his relationship with Harry. It was un-Malfoy-like in every way. First, Harry was half-blood, and then he was a guy to make it even worse.

"I see," his father told him. "Well, make sure you say something before you leave next time."

Draco nodded again. "Of course, Father." With that, his father turned and walked back down the stairs; he breathed a sigh of relief before slipping into the comfort of his own room. It was a good thing that they always knocked before coming in. It made him feel safer here, though that was a foolish thought. Safety was relative. The only thing he had to fear here was his parents, and as far as he knew right now, he had nothing to fear from them… yet.

Now that he and Harry had seen each other again, and had actually called themselves lovers, he felt less safe here at home. What if they suspected something? What if they found out somehow? Of course, there was no way for them to find out, and as long as he was careful, they'd have no reason to suspect anything, either. It didn't stop him from being terribly afraid of his father's wrath if they did.

Later on that night, after he was sure both of his parents would be asleep, Draco snuck downstairs. The library was actually on the second floor, but if there was anything like the book he wanted in the house, it would not be with the others. Creeping into a hallway, he walked to the other side of house, into another hallway. Turning left, he walked a little ways into a door that went into their cellar. It was mainly for wine and things like that, but he knew that his father kept books down here that he didn't want anyone else to find. Draco had stumbled upon it once as a child. It was a long shot, but the only shot he had.

It was embarrassing, actually… going to a book for sex advice. What else was he supposed to do? He knew virtually nothing about sex. As much as he was scared to admit it, he wanted to keep whatever he had with Harry going on for as long as possible. Inexperienced as he was, something told him that if he didn't make sure to keep things interesting between them, he would lose Harry. That was something that was bound to happen eventually, but the blond wanted to keep it at bay for as long as possible. Besides, it wasn't as if he could tell anyone…

Shuddering at the repercussion of that, he walked into the cellar, and made his way into his father's secret library. As a Malfoy, he was allowed in. His father had wards on it to prevent anyone who wasn't a Malfoy from coming down here, as he stored dark items down here as well. This library was not as big as the one two floors above, but it held much more fascinating books, in Draco's opinion. The books down here were all old, first editions, dark books, things that had always held his fascination.

That wasn't what he was down here for. Feeling like an embarrassed bookworm, he searched the shelves. No one was here, but Draco felt as if everyone was watching him. What if by some chance his father caught him down here? Shaking his blond head, he shoved that thought of his mind. Rarely was either of his parents up at this hour, though it was times like this he wished he had his own place. That was unbecoming of a Malfoy, though… Malfoy Manor was big enough to hold many generations, and that was the point. Did he ever envy Harry right now for having a place of his own…

It was then that the book he wanted caught his eye. _What is my father doing have a book like this?_ He held the dusty book in his hands. Not only was it a book on sex – that wouldn't have _surprised_ Draco as much; his father was a married man – but it was a book on _homosexual_ sex specifically – _male homosexual _sex. It didn't look as if had been touched in many years, if indeed it ever had. It was about twenty years old or so, give or take… Why had his father bought a book on homosexual sex when had still been married to his mother? The thought was confusing, but it was nothing that Draco wanted to dwell on, now or ever.

He knew better than to take it out of this room. His father still came down here, and he was bound to notice a book missing – any book. With that thought, Draco leaned up against the wall, and began to flip through it. Indeed, it looked as if the book had not been touched. Aside from being dusty, it was in prime condition – bought brand new, and then put down here, never to be used. The thought was disturbing to Draco, but as he got to the pictures in the book – drawn pictures to illustrate the different positions – all other thoughts were pushed out of the young man's mind. One section in particular caught his eye. A smirk crossed the blond's lips, and he filed it away. This would _definitely_ come in handy, and he would_ not_ forget it.

At that instant, a picture swam through Draco's mind – his father, walking in at this instant, seeing him down here with this particular book. What had he been thinking? Sure, it had given some ideas, but still… it had been reckless and dangerous, not to mention stupid, to come down here without his father's permission. Hastily closing it, the blond rushed over to the bookshelf and quickly tried to put it back. In his haste, though, he accidentally dropped it, falling on the floor spine down, open to an early part of the book. Picking it, a few words caught Draco's eye, and he began to read, slightly shocked at what he discovered:

"There are risks to having sex. It is encouraged to make sure you know about your partner before you have sex with them. There are certain diseases – called sexually transmitted diseases – that are transmitted from person to person. Some have cures, and some do not. It also advised that you test for all such diseases before engaging in sexual intercourse." It listed many diseases, and his grey eyes widened with one. Below those, it listed various spells to test and then one to protect against them. He filed the last one, but did not worry about the others. After all, neither of them had been very experienced. They shouldn't have anything to worry about, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Deciding that he should not test his luck, Draco put the book back. Starting at it for a minute, it looked like it had been touched. _That's because it has_, he thought to himself. If his father caught it… of course, he would. Using his wand, he tried to disguise the look of the book, so that it looked the same as before. _He's not going to buy this. _What if he did? Hopefully he would just think it was nothing, curiosity… and not think anything of it. If his father decided to question him about it, after being caught by him, he didn't want to think about it.

Walking back upstairs, Draco slipped quietly back into his room. He pushed all thoughts of his father out of his mind. He would much rather think of the dark-haired lover – yes, they were lovers now, weren't they? – that he would be with in a month's time. It would pass so slowly, and it did… days slowly turned into weeks, and it seemed like an eternity before that day was up, and he was standing outside the flat building that Harry called home, waiting. This time, though, Harry didn't show up after ten minutes. Time ticked by and here he stood, waiting and waiting… _Where is he?_

Harry laid there in bed for a while after Draco had left the flat. He knew that it had probably only been a few minutes, but it seemed like much longer. This time, it had nothing to do with disbelief or depression, whatever it had been the last time. This time, he knew he hadn't imagined it. Harry didn't think he'd ever forget turning the corner, looking at the front of his flat building, and seeing Draco standing there, waiting for him, just as he said he would. We're lovers, kept bouncing around in his head, part disbelief, and part wonderment. After all, it was Draco Malfoy of all people, but… being with him had brought out feelings he never thought he'd feel again, he'd be damned if he let that go.

The rest of his night went without anything of interest happening. He went to bed, got up and went to work the next day – Auror Training. Outwardly, Harry didn't seem any different. He was still stoic, and didn't pay much attention to what was going on around him unless he needed to. The truth was, he felt much different now than he had before. It wasn't as if he could say anything so people would stop worrying about him. What was he supposed to do, telling them he was shagging an ex-Death Eater? Laughable, that was.

The next month went by without a hitch. That is, until the day of his meeting with Draco. He was on his way out, trying to get there a little sooner this time, but he was already running late, again. He heard a voice from behind him, Ron's, calling out, "Hey, mate, hold up for a minute, will you?"

Sighing, Harry cursed his best friend's time, and turning around, trying not to seem annoyed. "Yes, Ron, do you need something? Hello, Hermione." The short brunette was standing right next to her soon-to-be husband.

"Yeah, actually, we…" He glanced at Hermione, who gave him an encouraging look. _What are they up to?_ Harry thought to himself. "You see, you've been acting differently the past month. You haven't said anything to either of us and we were wondering…" Ron's eyes glanced at Hermione again, who sighed.

"Harry," Hermione said gently. "Are you… _meeting_ people?"

His green eyes blinked. They couldn't be asking what he thought they did, did he? "Am I _meeting_ people?" He repeated, hoping that this conversation wasn't going where he thought it was. Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but Ron beat her to the punch, for once.

"Mate, are you shagging anyone?" Hermione gave another sigh, and Ron looked at her. "Sorry, Hermione, but it's best to get this over with as soon as possible, and he wasn't getting your more… subtle way of broaching the subject." The redhead turned his gaze back towards Harry. "Sorry, Harry, but Hermione's been worried about you, I mean, we all have, and… well, you need to move on. She was my sister, but it's over a year mate, and she… well, we think that it's time you started to look for… someone."

He blinked once more, just to make sure that this was really happening as a pang hit him when he thought of Ginny. _Why here? Why now? Oh, I know why, because you knew I'd leave, and you wouldn't see me until tomorrow. You know I don't like surprise visitors, either. _It was chilling to think of what would happen if they found out the truth. "Since when have either of you been interested in my sex life?"

"Because you were dating my sister," Ron pointed out matter-of-factly. "I got used to it, you know, but I didn't want to _know_ about anything you were doing with her."

Hermione nodded. "Ginny and I talked, don't get me wrong, but not in any detail, I mean… You're my best friend, Harry," she told him. "It's just that… you've been so upset since Ginny died. It was hard on everyone. I just feel that –"

He held up a hand to silence her, and she obliged. "Listen, I appreciate your concern, but the truth is…" How did he let them know that he was going to be fine without telling them _why_? "Look, I'm fine, okay, it's just… I have to go, okay? I appreciate your concern, but everything's fine." With that, he turned to leave, but when it had ever been that easy?

"Harry, why are you in such a hurry?" Hermione called out, and he could hear she and Ron following him. She was suspicious, and he could almost feel the glance she was sharing with Ron.

He glanced back. "No reason. I just… have something to do tonight."

"Like what?" Ron asked, equally curious.

"I need to go, I don't want to be late." Harry could have slapped himself right than. Of course, he knew what the next question would be, and froze, waiting for it.

"Late for what, Harry? What's…" Hermione's voice faded off. "Wait, did you… are you… do you have a _date_ tonight?"

"No," Harry said, a blush crossing his cheeks, "it's not a date." The truth was it was a lie, and his voice betrayed him. It was a date, regardless of what else he wanted to call it. Maybe not the kind of date most lovers had, but they were meeting weren't they? Besides, what else were they supposed to do, go out in public?

"Harry –"

"Listen, Hermione, Ron," he said, cutting her off and stopping him from saying anything. "It's nothing. Don't bug me about this, okay?" _I'm not telling you for a reason… _"Now, I have to go." He left before they had a chance to ask him anything else, and he heard Hermione muttering to Ron that he'd tell him them "when he felt like it". _Sure, _he thought to himself. _You'd never understand…_ He quickly Apparated back to his Apparition Point as soon as he could. Rounding the corner, there was the blond, waiting for him, and impatiently this time, as it had taken him another ten minutes to get out of the Ministry than it had last time.

"What happened, Harry?" Draco asked his voice full of annoyance. "It's been –"

"Yes, I know, and I'm sorry," he said, apologizing for making him wait before he could go off on a tirade. "Ron and Hermione cornered me, I had to dodge them. It took time, and I got out late again."

They began to make their way up to Harry's flat. "What did you say to get them off your back?" Draco asked.

"I didn't say anything, I tried to just leave, but that didn't work."

"Granger?"

He nodded. "Yes, she figured it out, and no, don't worry, not _who_." Draco gave a noticeable sigh. "Even _she_ couldn't figure out that one." He gave the blond a look. "She figured that I… well, that I had a _date_."

"I always think of a date more of as two people out for dinner. That's not what we do."

Harry nodded as the got to his floor. "True, it's not, and that's what I think, too, but it's a meeting with my lover, so if they want to call it a date, that's fine." They reached his flat, and the moment they entered, Harry turned to Draco. "So, I thought that tonight that maybe I could –"

Draco cut him off with a deep, searing kiss. It sent shivers down Harry's spine, and he lost all train of thought. "Tonight, I'm going to show you a few things…" A smirk crossed the blond's lips. Once again, his lover kissed him deeply, and Harry forgot everything, dropping his keys and robe on the floor. "Trust me; you'll be more than satisfied when I'm through with you."

oth couldn't any longer.


End file.
